Harry:
Accio mic!
Let me fire up the wand
like Hermione and Ron
I’m about to get it on
‘cause my mouth spits hot
like Insendio flames.
You’re Lukewarm
like some Tauntaun remains.

Even the mad eye
of my man Alastor Moody
could see your franchise
only has two decent movies!

Search your feelings
do you sense dеjа vu?
You’re getting smoked like your
Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru!

Your acting is flat
and your raps are 2D too.
Bugger off to the afterlife
where you’re fat and see-through.

You’re the biggest let down
in your series since Snoke.
It makes sense your Father is Vader
all you do is choke!

You country bumpkin,
you must be dumb.
Who farms moisture
on a desert planet with two Suns?!?

Let me stick my plans
in your Dusty Bin droid.
I’ll leave you like a Horcrux
split up and destroyed!

Luke:
I don’t know
who made you shoot first
but that missed
if I was you
I’d have a bad feeling about this.

I’m a rhuming Jedi
like my Father before me.
You’re talking hat
shoulda put you in Gryffindorky.

Your origin story
is mostly stolen from me.
You might be Potter
but Harry, I planted your seed!

Let’s see, little orphan
raised by relatives in solitude
suddenly gets taken under wing
of funky wizard dude.
Learns that he’s been destined
to have powerful gifts
but between the two of us
I think I got the cooler stick!

Swing it!
My mic saber cuts through you
so slicey
leave you on the floor
like an arm at Mos Eisley.
Hit you with the Wampa raps
I get icy.
Land’em in your face like
[Han] that’ll do nicely.

I fly the X-wing
to save a planet from massacre.
You fly a broom
like some kind of magical janitor.

Your Domble-dweeb army
Likes to think that you’re the best.
All you did was use your mom
like a bulletproof vest!

Harry:
The death of my mother
saved the wizarding race!
Your mom died of a heart attack
when she saw your face!

You swamp school dropout
you’re too whiney to rhyme.
At least when I Slytherin a sister
she isn’t mine!!!

I’m a boy who lived,
a best-seller without equal.
I’ll split you like your fan base’s
feelings about the prequels!

The sequels brought you back
to meet your demise.
I’d say you were brilliant
but I must not tell lies!

I left J.K. straight
Rowling in cash.
You let J.J. compact
your character to trash!

So, go on, try and force
more of your disses.
You’re like a stormtrooper
cause all your shit misses!

[beep-boop-beep]
Luke:
That’s right, R2,
it does sound like he left
all his fire in the goblet.
[boop-beep-beep]
Ha-ha
Maybe he will get rescued
by an anorexic hobbit.

I think it’s pretty clear that
you and I are pretty different.
My drive’s hyper
Your drive’s Privet.

I’ve got more rhymes
than sand grains on Tatooine,
you couldn’t pull in the win
with a tractor beam.

I crushed an Empire
a galaxy large,
I blew up the Death Star,
You blew up Aunt Marge!

I’ll pop you where Poppy Pomfrey
can’t be healing you
Unlike a great disturbanсe
in the Force
I’m not feeling you!

Death would eat you up
without Hermione and luck
because your own skills
Wingardium Levio-suck!

You’re a dud like Dursley
but worse
and I’d rather herd nerfs
than have to endure
your third verse!

Harry:
Have you heard rap before?
That was not dope at all
maybe have Goldieballs
show you the protocol.

But I bet you’re just distracted
you got a lot on your plate
on one hand the rebellion
on the other hand
oh, wait…

I roll deep
and the Weasley’s got my back.
[Ron] This muggle sucks more hole
than the bloody Sarlacc.
[George&Fred] We’ll rough you up good
if you try to step to Harry, mate.
[Ron] You’re the least intimidating twin
since Mary-Kate.

I flow like butterbeer
on Diagon streets,
you can find me getting
fantastic on these beats.

It’s over, Luke
I got the high ground advantage
I’ll close it like a map
Mischief Managed!

Luke:
You should have Hagrid
fly you home on his moped
if I wanted teenager wizardry
I’d call Selena Gomes!

My attack tactics
are galactically hardcore
far more than your
goofy little Scar Wars!

I learned flow
from the best in the biz.
[Yoda] Get funky
So of you the end this is
[Yoda] Maclunkey!

My Jedi mind tricks
put the nix on your Imperius
trip you up like Deathsticks
I’m Bellatrix dead Sirius!

No need to expelliarmus
you’re harmless in a duel.
Call me the Hogwarts Express
I just took you to school!

[Yoda]Who won?